Monday, January 17, 2011

Safety Jokes to kick off the new year!

Although safety is no joking matter, here are a few safety related jokes you can use to lighten up your safety training session!

Q: How do you drive a OHS Manager completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.

Q: What’s the difference between God and a Safety Manager?
A: God doesn’t think he’s a Safety Manager.

Manual Handling Joke:
During a manual handling training session, a strong young man at the construction site began bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of the site safety team. After several minutes, the Safety Manager had had enough.''Why don't you put your money where your mouth is'', he said. "I bet you a weeks wages that I can move something in a wheelbarrow over to that site hut that you won't be able to wheel back". "You're on, old man", the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got". The Safety Manager grabbed a wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right, Get in".

Fire Drill
A voice on the site PA loudspeaker announced: "This is a test of the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency." My confidence in this safety precaution faded when the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact us."